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Student Well-Being Q&A

How to Address Parents鈥 Concerns That SEL Goes Against Their Values

By Arianna Prothero 鈥 July 18, 2024 3 min read
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The politics of social-emotional learning have shifted drastically in the past few years鈥攅specially in some conservative states鈥攚ith critics claiming that SEL is a form of liberal indoctrination or a means for unqualified teachers to practice therapy.

This shift has left many teachers and SEL practitioners in a tricky situation, trying to address parents鈥 concerns while continuing to teach SEL programs that may be required by the district and state.

That鈥檚 been the case for Candace Peyton Wofford, an instructional coach and, up until recently, an SEL teacher in a middle school in Corpus Christi, Texas. She has had her fair share of parents voice concerns that SEL is teaching their children concepts that go against their values. Through her conversations with parents, Wofford鈥攚ho is a big proponent of SEL鈥攈as found ways to help calm their fears.

Wofford shared her insights with Education Week. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

What concerns are you hearing from parents, exactly?

Candace Peyton Wofford

The main argument is that they think that I鈥檓 trying to encroach on their belief system. Usually, it鈥檚 a Christian belief that they think I鈥檓 trying to go against. And I am just very transparent with them and very honest about what I鈥檓 teaching, and [that] it is not to go against anyone鈥檚 belief. It is truly just to help their child navigate life and be a better person.

And most of what I teach, if they just take a step back and look at the lesson plans and look at what I鈥檓 expecting of their child, it could mean that their Christian child could be very Christ-like, if they did things that I鈥檓 saying. I鈥檓 definitely not going against what they鈥檙e trying to teach in their home spiritually.

Is that what parents ultimately conclude? That SEL isn鈥檛 a threat to their values?

It takes a while, but eventually, yes, because when you鈥檙e transparent with them and you show that you鈥檙e not hiding anything, they start to let their guard down and their barriers down. And then we can talk to each other face-to-face and realize we鈥檙e on the same page.

Really, what they need to see is that I truly care for their child. And once they know that I have their child鈥檚 best interest in mind, why would you want to fight me on that? Why would you not want your child to be able to learn how to do a job interview, learn how to do a handshake, learn how to look someone in the eyes, learn how to get un-addicted to their phones? These are all things that we talk about in the classroom setting.

What other steps do you take that are helpful?

You have to sit and listen to their concerns, validate their concerns, and really truly listen to understand and not listen to respond. Once you understand where they鈥檙e coming from, you can eventually make your response, and they end up realizing that y鈥檃ll are both on the same page.

See also

Close up of elementary or middle school white girl using a mobile phone in the classroom.
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When I was in the classroom setting, I would send emails every three weeks explaining what we鈥檝e been doing in class and giving the parents an action item. Like, 鈥淣ow that your child knows how to do this, I would encourage you to try this at the dinner table, or try asking them this the next time y鈥檃ll are in the car together.鈥

It鈥檚 so hard to be a parent of a tween and a teenager. I feel like the parents are usually grateful that I鈥檓 giving them homework assignments, and their kids know that I鈥檓 giving their parents the homework assignment, so there鈥檚 no, 鈥淥h, we don鈥檛 have to do that, Mom. Oh no, we don鈥檛 talk about that.鈥 Their parents know exactly what they鈥檙e learning.

What is the final 鈥榓ha鈥 moment for parents?

It all gets resolved when they realize that SEL is being taught by me because I care for their child, and it鈥檚 being taught by me because I feel like this is a class I wish I had in grade school. And then they end up realizing, 鈥淢an, I wish I had this in grade school. Actually, it is cool that my kid gets to learn all this stuff, and that he or she is not just hearing it from me at home,鈥 when they don鈥檛 want to hear anything from their parents at that age.

These are life skills to make their life better. How do I function as a human being in 2024, you know?

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