69传媒

Opinion Blog

Peter DeWitt's

Finding Common Ground

A former K-5 public school principal turned author, presenter, and leadership coach, Peter DeWitt provides insights and advice for education leaders. Former superintendent Michael Nelson is a frequent contributor. Read more from this blog.

Families & the Community Opinion

What Student Impacted You Most as a Young Teacher?

How a 2nd grader and his father changed a novice鈥檚 mindset
By Michael Nelson 鈥 May 22, 2024 2 min read
Mike Nelson reads to his students.
  • Save to favorites
  • Print
Email Copy URL

I was 22 when I began teaching. My first position was teaching 2nd grade at Orting Elementary School in Washington state. I clearly remember the pressure I felt to have all students make significant progress during their year with me. Even in the mid-1980s, Orting had moved to standards-based practices. The principal asked us to use our classroom assessments to evaluate each child on grade-level student-learning objectives for reading, writing, and mathematics before filling out their report cards. At Orting, the report cards contained both checklists and narrative sections and were turned into the principal for his review prior to distributing them to families.

Jimmy had strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. He was on the shorter side of students in our classroom and was stout for an 8-year-old. He had a grin (not smile) that could light up a room.

In drafting my first set of report cards, it became clear that Jimmy wasn鈥檛 meeting standards. I tried a variety of strategies, but often, Jimmy would just sit. If I nudged too much, I would begin to see his eyes well up. Even though I was very nervous, I called Jimmy鈥檚 dad to see if he could meet. He said his hours were long and could not meet. I offered to come to his home, and after a bit of back and forth, he agreed to meet at 7:30 one evening.

At the time, I didn鈥檛 question doing this and I didn鈥檛 tell the principal or other staff this is what I had arranged. Note: This is not good practice. It was a cold, dark, rainy evening in the Pacific Northwest when I drove toward their home, which was significantly off the main road. After driving for what felt like several miles, I arrived at a small bubble trailer. Before I was able to get out of my car, Jimmy was at my window with his grin.

He invited me up the two steps of the trailer, and together, we walked through the small door. His dad鈥檚 first words were, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 know who you are, Mr. Nelson, but Jimmy here talks about you all the time. He thinks you are something special, and I am grateful. It鈥檚 like he has come out of his shell for the past two months.鈥

At this moment, tears were welling in my eyes. I had come to 鈥渢ell鈥 in a tough manner that Jimmy was behind and we needed to do something. Instead, I chose to listen and say how much I enjoyed having Jimmy in my class and how much I wanted to support him with his learning but we had some catching up to do. Even though Jimmy鈥檚 father clearly told me he could not teach Jimmy, I asked for his help, and he agreed to support me.

Jimmy made progress and became a reader during our year together. I quickly realized that moment wasn鈥檛 entirely about Jimmy. It was a life lesson for me, and as I look back, I would consider it one of my greatest learning experiences as an educator. Among the lessons I learned were:

  • Jimmy鈥檚 home environment was very different from the one in which I was raised. I needed to always have empathy for the many things I might not know about students (and staff).
  • Jimmy鈥檚 father was trying to be the best parent he could be. I needed to always believe parents had positive intent.
  • Jimmy鈥檚 father actually wanted me to hear their story. I needed to listen.
  • Jimmy鈥檚 father never came to our classroom for a meeting even though we met in person many times during that school year. I needed to go to him.
  • Jimmy鈥檚 father wanted to know I cared about his son. I needed to demonstrate love, kindness, and compassion.

The events of that one evening have remained with me 39 years later even after my title shifted from teacher to leader.

Related Tags:

The opinions expressed in Peter DeWitt鈥檚 Finding Common Ground are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

Events

School & District Management Webinar Crafting Outcomes-Based Contracts That Work for Everyone
Discover the power of outcomes-based contracts and how they can drive student achievement.
This content is provided by our sponsor. It is not written by and does not necessarily reflect the views of Education Week's editorial staff.
Sponsor
School & District Management Webinar
Harnessing AI to Address Chronic Absenteeism in 69传媒
Learn how AI can help your district improve student attendance and boost academic outcomes.
Content provided by 
School & District Management Webinar EdMarketer Quick Hit: What鈥檚 Trending among K-12 Leaders?
What issues are keeping K-12 leaders up at night? Join us for EdMarketer Quick Hit: What鈥檚 Trending among K-12 Leaders?

EdWeek Top School Jobs

Teacher Jobs
Search over ten thousand teaching jobs nationwide 鈥 elementary, middle, high school and more.
Principal Jobs
Find hundreds of jobs for principals, assistant principals, and other school leadership roles.
Administrator Jobs
Over a thousand district-level jobs: superintendents, directors, more.
Support Staff Jobs
Search thousands of jobs, from paraprofessionals to counselors and more.

Read Next

Families & the Community From Our Research Center What Educators Have to Say About Parents Texting and Calling Their Kids During School
Teachers, principals, and district leaders are increasingly frustrated by parents who do not respect student cellphone restrictions.
1 min read
Photograph of a hand holding a cellphone showing text messages from "mom" with "Did you remember to take your lunch today?" and "Don't forget you have music lessons after school." The background is a blurred open book.
Kathy Everett for Education Week
Families & the Community Opinion The 3 Secrets to Better Parent-Teacher Communication
Teachers and parents rarely receive guidance on how to effectively communicate. Here鈥檚 what two experienced educators recommend.
Adam Berger & Don Berger
4 min read
Line drawing of town landscape including a school, a child, and a parent.
Fumiko Inoue/iStock
Families & the Community School Attendance Suffers as Parent Attitudes Shift
Parents are more relaxed about attendance than before the pandemic, district leaders said.
4 min read
One person walking down stairs in motion effect photography inside building.
iStock / Getty Images Plus
Families & the Community Parents Call Chronic Absenteeism a Problem, But Most Can't Define It
A new poll sheds light on parents' views on chronic absenteeism and acceptable reasons to miss school.
3 min read
Empty desks within a classroom
iStock/Getty Images Plus