69传媒

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Ask a Psychologist

Helping 69传媒 Thrive Now

Angela Duckworth and other behavioral-science experts offer advice to teachers based on scientific research. Read more from this blog.

Student Well-Being Opinion

69传媒 Are Stressed Out. Here鈥檚 How to Help Them

Fewer responsibilities may not be the solution
By Angela Duckworth 鈥 December 13, 2023 2 min read
What can I do to help students put their worries into perspective?
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What can I do to help students put their worries into perspective?

You could ask them to do a . Here鈥檚 something I wrote about the topic for as a :

鈥淵oung people,鈥 observed in 1966, 鈥渟hould not be overdemanded. However, we have also to consider the fact that at least today, in the age of an affluent society, most people are underdemanded rather than overdemanded.鈥

In Frankl鈥檚 view, there鈥檚 no reason to defer the task of finding and meaning in life.

But teenagers today are considerably than they were in Frankl鈥檚 time. When I think of the number of mornings I鈥檝e come downstairs to find both of my teenage girls awake, studying, and on their second cup of coffee, I wonder if it鈥檚 a good idea to demand even more.

Were he alive today, I鈥檓 sure Frankl would have been sympathetic to the very real suffering of so many young people. But rather than subtracting responsibilities from their busy schedules, my guess is that Frankl would suggest, gently, a reevaluation of priorities.

For instance, if you鈥檙e waking up before dawn to study for a test so that you can get a better grade so that you can end the year with a higher GPA so that you can get into a more prestigious college so that you can have a more pleasant life, you are not, in Frankl鈥檚 view, doing yourself any favors: 鈥淭he more one aims at pleasure, the more his aim is missed.鈥

What, then?

I recommend a 15-minute that begins with choosing, from a short list, values that are especially important to you. Next, you write about why these values are important to you.

Most young people choose empathetic values like 鈥渞elationships with friends and family鈥 and 鈥渒indness and generosity鈥 over self-directed values like 鈥渟uccess in my career.鈥

In other words, upon reflection, most young people realize that they care more about their connections to the world at large than their own trials and tribulations.

In a study of two different of teenagers, completing the values affirmation led to feeling and acting more attuned to others鈥 needs over the next three months, particularly among those who, prior to the intervention, were especially self-centered. Neuroscience suggests that this exercise activates reward centers in the brain, allowing us to focus less on our own personal needs and more on the people around us.

顿辞苍鈥檛 assume that being a good teacher or parent means being less demanding. Asking our kids to do more for others may, in fact, benefit them enormously.

Do ask yourself, and the young people you care about, to reflect on what really matters. It may put Friday鈥檚 test, college applications, and many other worries into perspective.

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The opinions expressed in Ask a Psychologist: Helping 69传媒 Thrive Now are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

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