Teachers across the country finished the 2019-20 year in a whirlwind of anxiety and confusion as their schools suddenly switched to distance learning because of the coronavirus. Now they鈥檙e planning for the start of a new school year full of uncertainty.
Catherine Gewertz, a senior contributing writer for Education Week, spoke with Marc Brackett about how teachers can take care of themselves and manage their stress. Brackett is the director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. His research focuses on how emotions affect learning, decision-making, relationship quality, mental health, and workplace performance. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
EdWeek: For teachers, this has been a disrupted, eventful spring and summer. I know you鈥檝e done some informal surveys on how teachers are feeling. What do they tell you?
Brackett: The number one word is anxiety, and that makes total sense. There鈥檚 so much uncertainty in the teaching profession right now: Where am I going to be teaching? Who am I going to be teaching? Am I going to be in a classroom or not in a classroom? Am I going to wear a mask or not wear a mask? So given that, there鈥檚 no certainty about what our classroom situations will look like in the fall.
In your most recent survey, this spring, you found that teachers were not managing their emotions in the healthiest ways. What kinds of ways were they coping with their emotions that were not healthy?
Too much alcohol, not getting enough sleep, engaging in a lot of negative thinking and self-talk, catastrophic thinking, a lot of rumination and lack of self-care. Yelling, screaming, losing their temper, denying, repressing, locking themselves up in their room crying.
You actually had someone say that?
Yeah.
What are some good emotional-regulation strategies that you would suggest?
The first step is noticing your physiology, because if you鈥檙e very activated, it鈥檚 hard to apply any of the other strategies. If your heart is racing and your mind is racing, you really need to deactivate. That鈥檚 where mindfulness comes in, and the breathing exercises come in, the pausing. Taking a walk, moving yourself out of the situation. To say, 鈥淵ou know, I can鈥檛 think straight right now, I need some space.鈥� Or lock yourself in the bathroom, take some breaths.
And then there鈥檚 the self-care strategies.
Like sleep, nutrition, exercise?
Exactly.
And then there are the cognitive strategies that are so important. Like managing your thought processes. If you notice yourself freaking out every five minutes, like, 鈥淲e don鈥檛 know what鈥檚 gonna happen with school, oh my God, what am I gonna do?鈥� And, 鈥淥h my God, it鈥檚 never gonna work.鈥� You have to stop and say, 鈥淗ow is [this kind of thinking] helping me to have well-being? How is it helping me create a plan?鈥�
That鈥檚 the hard part, is having the skill to stop and say to yourself, 鈥淢arc, you鈥檙e absolutely driving yourself crazy right now. What are you doing? Come on! You know that you have no control over the stock market, you have no control over whether or not the governor of New York, New Jersey, Connecticut opens up schools.鈥�
Then there鈥檚 just the mere presence of other people鈥攜ou know, that just being in relationship is a strategy.
That鈥檚 hard right now.
It is. And so if you鈥檙e living alone, you鈥檝e got to be creative about it. You gotta have those Zoom drink meetings, Fridays at 5, or just think about other groups you can join, a Facebook group, or take a virtual yoga class. There are ways to connect that are creative.
In presentations you鈥檝e given, you often mention another strategy, too: managing your life smartly, choosing situations and routines.
If you realize over time that there are certain people that are raining on your parade, then you have to find ways to interact with them less and interact more with the people that bring you joy. I have an aunt I joke about. She鈥檚 like, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 gonna go wrong this week?鈥� I鈥檓 like, 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 think about that until you brought it up. Thank you very much.鈥� I鈥檝e got to limit exposure to Aunt Mary. Because Aunt Mary is going to be a trigger for me. That is managing really smartly.
You鈥檝e pointed out that before people can start learning to manage our feelings, we have to recognize them and accept them without judgment. You鈥檝e said you want us to be 鈥渆motion scientists,鈥� not 鈥渆motion judges.鈥� What does that mean? And what tips do you have for how teachers can do that?
Of course. The first thing about feelings is that there鈥檚 no such thing as a good or bad emotion. Emotions are emotions. Anxiety is not a bad emotion. It鈥檚 really important. If there鈥檚 a lot of uncertainty, I鈥檓 going to be anxious. It doesn鈥檛 mean that I have to allow that feeling to take over my entire life. I can learn how to be anxious and still be productive and kind. The second is that you have to give yourself and everyone else the permission to feel.
The third piece is that when you understand that emotions are information, then it鈥檚 [a matter of] saying, 鈥淲hat鈥檚 the first step to really building that skill?鈥� And that鈥檚 just asking yourself the simple question: 鈥淎m I that scientist or judge? Am I open and curious, or am I critical?鈥�
A part of that is our attitudes about the times we fail at these skills. During the last couple of months, I鈥檝e failed terrifically in regulating my own feelings because I鈥檓 just like, ready to lose it. My point is that life brings unexpected experiences you have to deal with. And so I have said some things that were not kind.
Can I forgive myself for saying it? Can I get forgiven? And then, can I build that growth mindset and say, 鈥淵ou know, what? I really sucked at regulating this weekend. But can I start fresh Monday and work on it and build those skills?鈥� And I think that鈥檚 so important to this work.
You鈥檝e talked about forgiveness as a healthy emotional-regulation strategy. Can you share some thoughts on that?
Yeah. With the permission to feel comes permission to fail. I always joke, because here I am, a 鈥渓eading expert鈥� on emotional intelligence, I run a center at Yale University, and I鈥檓 messing up all the time. I come down thinking, 鈥淢arc, you鈥檙e the feelings master, and something happens when we鈥檙e making the food for the dogs and I鈥檓 like, argh!鈥� You know?
My point here is that we have to be self-forgiving because we mess up. And also, this is our life鈥檚 journey. It isn鈥檛 a workshop, or a book, or [professional development] day. Then we realize that everybody around us is also going to fail. And we have to accept that.
People have bad days and people say things they regret and they don鈥檛 really mean it. And if we can鈥檛 forgive them, then how are we ever going to be in relationship?
And how does that apply to teachers in their work?
Take remote learning as an example. A lot of our negative talk is going to come from that like, 鈥淥h, that lesson is so boring,鈥� or 鈥淢y students hate me and I鈥檓 never going to be effective.鈥� And the list goes on, all the things teachers say to themselves when things don鈥檛 go as expected.
You鈥檝e got to just take a deep breath and say to yourself something like, 鈥淵ou know something? I鈥檓 working my butt off. I鈥檓 trying. I鈥檓 in learning mode. ... And so I鈥檓 gonna make mistakes on that journey.鈥� You鈥檙e human. It鈥檚 OK that lesson sucked. The next one will be better.
